A Matter of Perspective

            My kitchen has the best view, from the window above my sink, I can see my backyard and the edge of the forest beyond it. I am lucky enough to be able to watch my kids romp the way kids do when there is no one reigning them in, when they have the luxury of free time and lots of space to run wild with their imaginations. From my little window, I have watched friendships formed, duels fought, truces shaken upon and then broken ten minutes later. I have seen first love and first heartache, and I have witnessed firsthand the results of my parenting efforts. I have seen my kids at their best, reaching out to a lonely friend or helping a struggling sibling without being asked, and I have seen them at their worst, testing boundaries I didn’t think I would be dealing with for years to come. My kitchen window has given me the gift of knowing my kids from another point of view. One from which I have less direct influence. It is scary sometimes to watch as they do something I have warned them not to do a million times, but it is exciting to see them accomplish something I would not have allowed them to even attempt. While trying to catch my breath after watching my son sled down a homemade jump ramp on our back hill, narrowly missing the stockade fence, it occurred to me that my kids have to live within the confines of this concept of  “liability” that I am so scared of. I am so scared to let them try things that could hurt them that I deprive them of that feeling you get when you accomplish something you thought was impossible! Having had the epiphany that I was a terrible parent, I fought the urge to yell for the kids to come inside, and sat back to watch in awe of the wonderful fun they were having. I had just about convinced myself that, given my utter failed attempt at parenting, I should back off completely, let them have free reign, and pursue my original life goal of being an astronaut princess rockstar. That is, until I heard the scream. Parents, you know the one I mean. It was different than the playful screeches kids belt out during tag; it was not the lingering “I’m sick” sob, this was the high pitched crack and then heart-wrenching silence followed by the “someone-find-my-mom-because-I-really-hurt-myself” cry.  Evidently, their sled had made contact with the fence on one run down the hill. I sized up the damage: two kids  walking (no broken legs), no blood, one cradled arm...a broken arm perhaps? Like any parent worth their salt, I snapped back to reality and pretended to be unimpressed with the whole situation while I inspected the injury. Little did they know I was an emotional wreck inside. Had I actually failed at not parenting? Is that even possible? I wasn’t sure what had happened, but I was pretty sure it was my fault. After some arm maneuvering and a little reverse psychology, the boys were found to be scraped but essentially fine.  So, I whipped up some comfort food, gave them each a hug, then I sat down to give them the “I told you so” talk, but I changed my mind. My kitchen window had shown me the benefits of a longer leash and allowing kids to learn from their own mistakes. And my window had given me a great perspective with which to "frame" the current situation. So I just said: “ if you move your ramp down the hill a bit, you won’t have to worry about the fence again,” and I turned and walked away, knowing that they may choose not to listen, but trusting that  given some space, they would make the right decision. So, I have indefinitely postponed my royal space album's debut due to the realization that I may not be such a bad Mom after all.

Get-a-Different -Perspective Upside-Down Pineapple Cake  **Courtesy of Grandma Zhanna**

Ingredients:

3 egg yolks
1 cup flour

1 cup sugar

1 Can  (strained) of pineapple rings or tidbits

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Spray or butter and flour the sides only of a 9”x9” baking pan

Beat egg yolks until they change color
Add sugar and beat again
Fold in flour

Arrange pineapple pieces in bottom of pan

Pour batter over the pineapple

Bake about 50 mins.

Let cool 10 mins then flip upside down onto plate to serve.